A very common mistake that many of you have been making when turning around beliefs is to involve others in your beliefs. This leads me to conclude that I simply have not been clear enough about something. The quality of your life has nothing to do with anyone else.
Even if right now, you find yourself in what feels like an impossible situation, I can assure you it has more to do with how you are looking at the situation than it does the situation itself. Please understand that in every situation you find intolerable, there is one common denominator: You. If you don’t like the situation one of your kids are in, if you have a sibling who is doing something you can’t understand, if your spouse or boss is continuously being unreasonable… the question is not what they are doing, it’s always how do you feel about it? There is nothing you cannot change it you are willing to pay the price. The question always becomes, are you willing to pay the price?
Now there are extremes people… I know that for example, if you are in an abusive relationship, you need to leave. I’m not asking you to stay there and reevaluate the way you are seeing things and it will get better. What I am saying is that, changing your beliefs must include you. Avoid the subtle traps, which include: Why is he/she like that to me (or my friend or my brother)? Which puts the emphasis on them to be nicer to you (or your friend or your sister). Understand that you cannot control someone else’ behavior, you can only influence your reaction. You can only influence your reaction if you are aware of your own feelings surrounding the situation. Watch in the space between their action and your reaction and choose freedom from emotional reaction. You won’t win 100% of the time at first, but starting out, it’s actually fun to realize how much of your life is in your own hands… see you next week
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