..Had this nasty cod/flu combo last week...did ya miss me?
When will we learn to love ourselves? I am intrigued by the events of the last week. Not so much for the events themselves but in the reactions they have elicited from people.
Without love, we seem cast adrift on the tide of the masses: action reaction, action reaction. Up the boat goes, down it comes...
Christian, Muslim, bound by the winds of change and the whims of those who would 'lead' us whether we really know how they got there or not..
Bang the drum, rally the masses, wave the flag...
Only through love can you shed your need to be told, for your freedom to know. Only through love can you show the world that acceptance begins when tolerance ends. Should Osama Bin Laden be dead? He is dead, so I guess that is yes. Should you rejoice? If you feel you need to, ask yourself what happens when you're finished rejoicing; what then? Ask yourself how many of the 311 million other Americans are actually dancing in the street with you. After that, consider that the next time you see people dancing in the street in Islamabad how many of the 1.21 Billion people from their country they represent.
If you are off-put by those who rejoice, ask yourself what is in you that is off-put. Not, what is in them that makes them want to. In the still small voice that engages in that discussion, you will find yourself. That is where love resides. It is in yourself, by yourself and in relationship to yourself that judgment resides. When you judge someone else, what criteria are you judging them by? Your perfection or your imperfection? If you are perfect, what difference would it make what anyone else does?
I know these things because I judge sometimes in a knee-jerk reaction and it feels terrible. I used to do it all the time, with all the emotion I could muster and then I felt even more terrible. When I don't judge I am closer to myself than at any other time. Closer to freedom, closer to love. When you practice non-judgment, its a heck of a cool game with a win/win every time. Are you always successful? Yes because the minute you catch yourself judging and put yourself in the other persons shoes you're one step closer to who you want to be whether you realize it or not.
The next time you refer to a Muslim or a Christian as they, ask yourself if you are a 'they'. Perhaps you'll say" if they means a Christian, I guess I am, or, if they means Muslim, I guess I am. Then try saying it without the word I and see how far you get. They don't dance in the streets. A collection of I's do. If not, than they represent you in everything they do.
The world is safer without Bin Laden in it. Not too many people disagree with that. How much safer it is, will have to do not only with each individual reaction to his death, but with each individual reaction to the reaction.
And finally I leave you with this video. A little beauty in a world where choice is as it has always been, right there with you! Stay beautiful. C ya next week.
http://wimp.com/brainautotuned
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Anything is possible:
What remarkable creatures we are. I love that people send me the most inspiring things. This week I've seen videos of a one legged tango dancer that made me feel like the reason I couldn't dance was that I had too many legs! I saw a TED video of a man who was an amazing Graffiti artist who was stricken with a disease and now, with the help of incredibly simple but powerful technology, paints with his eyes. The technology to paint with your eyes or the ability to be a brilliant dancer with one leg is so inspiring. These things are in the same category as the awe we feel when we look up at the stars and wonder what's out there?
We are inspired by people, who instead of asking "why me"? ask why not me?
We are inspired by those people because, in the length of time it takes most of us to complain about the problem we're having, those people are half way to finding a solution. We have the same 24 hours in a day as they have. How are you spending yours?
I'll leave you this week with the two questions that the person who instigated the invention of the motion sensing glasses asks himself.
If not me, who?
If not now, when?
C ya next week.
We are inspired by people, who instead of asking "why me"? ask why not me?
We are inspired by those people because, in the length of time it takes most of us to complain about the problem we're having, those people are half way to finding a solution. We have the same 24 hours in a day as they have. How are you spending yours?
I'll leave you this week with the two questions that the person who instigated the invention of the motion sensing glasses asks himself.
If not me, who?
If not now, when?
C ya next week.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Change
Ever wonder why real change is so difficult?
Consider breaking a habit: why do you suppose that you slide back to your 'old ways' again and again?
You have two components to your mind: conscious and subconscious. The conscious mind handles all the logical business (weighing, considering and accepting or rejecting) and the subconscious mind handles everything else (including imagining, daydreaming, wishing and hoping). If you LOVE to eat too much or drink too much or smoke or whatever, you do the loving of those things with your subconscious mind. You have to marry the warm fuzzy feelings/thoughts of drinking & smoking with your imagination: with the IDEA of this being a good thing to do...the reasons you choose are your own (sort of).
Enjoyment happens in the imagination (subconscious mind). You don't 'rationalize' enjoyment (conscious mind) unless you have already decided you want to enjoy (subconscious mind) something. If you decide you need to quit something for health reasons, you do that with your conscious (logical) mind. You then use your 'will' (conscious mind) to try and turn your craving (subconscious compulsion) away from whatever you're trying to quit doing when the urge (subconscious mind) arises. It's estimated that the conscious mind takes up 5 % of total mind and the subconscious mind takes up the other 95%. Ever see 5 of anything in a fight with 95 of anything? Are you still wondering why real change is so difficult?
Comments welcome. :)
C ya next week.
Consider breaking a habit: why do you suppose that you slide back to your 'old ways' again and again?
You have two components to your mind: conscious and subconscious. The conscious mind handles all the logical business (weighing, considering and accepting or rejecting) and the subconscious mind handles everything else (including imagining, daydreaming, wishing and hoping). If you LOVE to eat too much or drink too much or smoke or whatever, you do the loving of those things with your subconscious mind. You have to marry the warm fuzzy feelings/thoughts of drinking & smoking with your imagination: with the IDEA of this being a good thing to do...the reasons you choose are your own (sort of).
Enjoyment happens in the imagination (subconscious mind). You don't 'rationalize' enjoyment (conscious mind) unless you have already decided you want to enjoy (subconscious mind) something. If you decide you need to quit something for health reasons, you do that with your conscious (logical) mind. You then use your 'will' (conscious mind) to try and turn your craving (subconscious compulsion) away from whatever you're trying to quit doing when the urge (subconscious mind) arises. It's estimated that the conscious mind takes up 5 % of total mind and the subconscious mind takes up the other 95%. Ever see 5 of anything in a fight with 95 of anything? Are you still wondering why real change is so difficult?
Comments welcome. :)
C ya next week.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Bullying
Unless you've been under a rock someplace or you don't own a computer, you've heard by now about the little Australian boy who has become a hero by being more violent then the child that was picking on him. I couldn't find the video to tell you how many millions of times it's been viewed but I did see it on every major news outlet and the boy will probably be going on tour soon... perhaps a co-bill with Charlie Sheen...
These boys are two sides of the same coin. Bullies feel powerless so they take their power from someone else: usually the most powerless kid they can find. Now I know some of you are going to have a fit (at least I hope so) and say I'm blaming the victim, but it should be perfectly obvious to us that both of these boys are victims and I'm not blaming anyone. If the kid who was bullied felt worthy enough, he would have a bunch of loving friends. Kids with a bunch of friends don't get bullied. If the bully felt worthy enough he would have been doing something constructive with his time instead of hanging out with a bunch of other kids who actually found this atrocity funny enough to film. Maybe he would have even been friends with the kid he was bullying.
We, as individuals within a society, need to reconnect with our own power. That never comes from someone else. That is the only way we can teach our children to do the same.
Now, I know some of you are saying that the child should not stand there and let the bully 'get away with it' and I agree with you. What I'm saying is that we have failed both of these kids by allowing them to feel powerless enough to find themselves in this situation in the first place.
How different would this whole debate be if the bully had landed on his head and died? Who would be the hero then?
We are calling this boy a hero. Do we really need a bunch of powerless children all over the world right now striving to be a hero? If these kids had gotten the kind of attention that would allowed them to understand how powerful they really are, they surely (neither one of them) would not be getting the kind of attention they are getting right now.
But, the pendulum swings. There is no up without down and the incident happened (I hope) so that at the very least we could learn something. So what did society supposedly learn? That we should hit the kid that hits us, harder then he hit us. THEN, you too can become a hero, be celebrated by millions and end up on the news.
These boys are two sides of the same coin. Bullies feel powerless so they take their power from someone else: usually the most powerless kid they can find. Now I know some of you are going to have a fit (at least I hope so) and say I'm blaming the victim, but it should be perfectly obvious to us that both of these boys are victims and I'm not blaming anyone. If the kid who was bullied felt worthy enough, he would have a bunch of loving friends. Kids with a bunch of friends don't get bullied. If the bully felt worthy enough he would have been doing something constructive with his time instead of hanging out with a bunch of other kids who actually found this atrocity funny enough to film. Maybe he would have even been friends with the kid he was bullying.
We, as individuals within a society, need to reconnect with our own power. That never comes from someone else. That is the only way we can teach our children to do the same.
Now, I know some of you are saying that the child should not stand there and let the bully 'get away with it' and I agree with you. What I'm saying is that we have failed both of these kids by allowing them to feel powerless enough to find themselves in this situation in the first place.
How different would this whole debate be if the bully had landed on his head and died? Who would be the hero then?
We are calling this boy a hero. Do we really need a bunch of powerless children all over the world right now striving to be a hero? If these kids had gotten the kind of attention that would allowed them to understand how powerful they really are, they surely (neither one of them) would not be getting the kind of attention they are getting right now.
But, the pendulum swings. There is no up without down and the incident happened (I hope) so that at the very least we could learn something. So what did society supposedly learn? That we should hit the kid that hits us, harder then he hit us. THEN, you too can become a hero, be celebrated by millions and end up on the news.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Teflon Mind
OK,
So I've invented a new game.
For the average person, part of enjoying life in peaceful coexistence with your fellow human beings, is trying to 'get through' the day without coming across like the "A-hole' you think many of them are. Now I have to tell you I'm in a pretty brilliant mood right now and I'm finding this really funny but there's nothing funny about walking around in a huge funk because someone 'else' (as though that were possible) P'ed you off. I was with my partner in the grocery yesterday and 'god bless her' as we say her in NL, she was having a day. You know those days when you can't believe they're charging that much for... and the person on the mobile phone should either shop or... and the quality of the produce is... OK, we get the point.
So, I invented a game called teflon mind. You know that stuff that frying pans are made out of that doesn't stick? Well, I have this theory that many of us have way too sticky a mind. In other words, we make ourselves sick or angry or anything else, by dwelling on things that are none of our business. Take for example the price of something in the market or someone on their phone. You have one of two choices which seems so obvious really, but still so many of us take choice number three. Bitch and complain and then go ahead and do what we were going to have to do anyway: buy the product or don't and/or walk around or wait for the person on the phone. As far as the person on the phone is concerned, you could just realize that you neither had to go around or wait for the person, you were just judging them on automatic pilot without ever considering that you didn't need to. With the obvious choice, they finish their conversation about something that was none of your business and you don't get an ulcer...reasonable trade off if I ever heard one. So Back to the game...
I promise, the next time you're at the grocery and you or your partner is having a bad day, you will turn it around in an instant with this game. *Warning* You have to discuss the rules before either of you is in a bad mood or you might get a punch in your not so teflon head...just sayin'.
Before you walk into the grocery store, put on your imaginary teflon helmet. Ok I know I don't sound the least bit sane here but you are smilin' already I can feel it. Now, since I know some of you, please don't get a real teflon helmet or if you do, let me know when you're getting groceries and I'll go somewhere else... OK, so, put on your imaginary helmet and the game begins. As you walk into the super market, nothing can stick to your mind for the whole time you're there. The price is the price. There are carts or their aren't. There are people on their phones or there aren't. It is crowded or it isn't. Don't let a single one of these or any other judgments 'stick' to your mind. Now here's the catch. You don't get to win this game until you've gone through one complete trip the the market without a single fraction of a second 'stick'. Think you can?
You will be amazed at how enjoyable the time in there can be. So much so in fact, that if you practice this on days when you're in a great mood and then continue to practice every time you go into the market, you will find after a while, you won't need your teflon helmet in there any more. Then, you can start taking it to work, or anywhere else you want to take it.
Let me know how it goes. Feedback welcome.
C ya next week!
So I've invented a new game.
For the average person, part of enjoying life in peaceful coexistence with your fellow human beings, is trying to 'get through' the day without coming across like the "A-hole' you think many of them are. Now I have to tell you I'm in a pretty brilliant mood right now and I'm finding this really funny but there's nothing funny about walking around in a huge funk because someone 'else' (as though that were possible) P'ed you off. I was with my partner in the grocery yesterday and 'god bless her' as we say her in NL, she was having a day. You know those days when you can't believe they're charging that much for... and the person on the mobile phone should either shop or... and the quality of the produce is... OK, we get the point.
So, I invented a game called teflon mind. You know that stuff that frying pans are made out of that doesn't stick? Well, I have this theory that many of us have way too sticky a mind. In other words, we make ourselves sick or angry or anything else, by dwelling on things that are none of our business. Take for example the price of something in the market or someone on their phone. You have one of two choices which seems so obvious really, but still so many of us take choice number three. Bitch and complain and then go ahead and do what we were going to have to do anyway: buy the product or don't and/or walk around or wait for the person on the phone. As far as the person on the phone is concerned, you could just realize that you neither had to go around or wait for the person, you were just judging them on automatic pilot without ever considering that you didn't need to. With the obvious choice, they finish their conversation about something that was none of your business and you don't get an ulcer...reasonable trade off if I ever heard one. So Back to the game...
I promise, the next time you're at the grocery and you or your partner is having a bad day, you will turn it around in an instant with this game. *Warning* You have to discuss the rules before either of you is in a bad mood or you might get a punch in your not so teflon head...just sayin'.
Before you walk into the grocery store, put on your imaginary teflon helmet. Ok I know I don't sound the least bit sane here but you are smilin' already I can feel it. Now, since I know some of you, please don't get a real teflon helmet or if you do, let me know when you're getting groceries and I'll go somewhere else... OK, so, put on your imaginary helmet and the game begins. As you walk into the super market, nothing can stick to your mind for the whole time you're there. The price is the price. There are carts or their aren't. There are people on their phones or there aren't. It is crowded or it isn't. Don't let a single one of these or any other judgments 'stick' to your mind. Now here's the catch. You don't get to win this game until you've gone through one complete trip the the market without a single fraction of a second 'stick'. Think you can?
You will be amazed at how enjoyable the time in there can be. So much so in fact, that if you practice this on days when you're in a great mood and then continue to practice every time you go into the market, you will find after a while, you won't need your teflon helmet in there any more. Then, you can start taking it to work, or anywhere else you want to take it.
Let me know how it goes. Feedback welcome.
C ya next week!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
You time
When I ask people about the time they take for themselves these days, the answer so often has something to do with television that I feel compelled to write a little about it this morning.
'You time' should seldom be spent doing nothing. There are very few places where is it possible for you to be less conscious than in front of the t.v. I'm not saying you should never watch t.v. You will notice however, that if you ever get too busy to watch, you don't miss it one bit.
Those of you with a constructive hobby will know the joy you get from accomplishing something in your 'spare time'. The only problem I see with that, is in calling it spare time.
Time for yourself is the most valuable time you can spend. It should never be the time you spend when life is finished getting in the way. You will wake up soon enough and realize that all of the 'getting through it' creates a culture of mental habit that has you 'getting through' everything instead of giving yourself to it.
You can spend time for yourself with your kids if that's what energizes you. Yes, some people really feel that way. Some people have chosen their job so wisely, it never occurs to them that they are actually working: ask most musicians, poets, writers or people who 'love' what they do. That doesn't mean that they don't like to get home and put their feet up after a day of loving what they do, that's called tired.
For some of us, all we really need to do is stop long enough to organize out thoughts. Like those boxes in the garage you've been meaning to get to. Consider what time you have 'created' for you. You may do things you love, but you may do them with an attitude that robs you of the energy you can receive from the doing. Reading is doing, writing is doing, meditating is doing: but fixing things can be fun and organizing things can be fun and... I hope you get the idea.
Most importantly, 'you time' isn't called you time because of what it means to anybody else. It also doesn't have to be spent alone although it's best not to 'rely' on someone else for it.
Consider what you do for you. Then consider how what you do for you impacts on your ability to relate to everyone else.
Isn't it time for a little you time?
See ya next week
'You time' should seldom be spent doing nothing. There are very few places where is it possible for you to be less conscious than in front of the t.v. I'm not saying you should never watch t.v. You will notice however, that if you ever get too busy to watch, you don't miss it one bit.
Those of you with a constructive hobby will know the joy you get from accomplishing something in your 'spare time'. The only problem I see with that, is in calling it spare time.
Time for yourself is the most valuable time you can spend. It should never be the time you spend when life is finished getting in the way. You will wake up soon enough and realize that all of the 'getting through it' creates a culture of mental habit that has you 'getting through' everything instead of giving yourself to it.
You can spend time for yourself with your kids if that's what energizes you. Yes, some people really feel that way. Some people have chosen their job so wisely, it never occurs to them that they are actually working: ask most musicians, poets, writers or people who 'love' what they do. That doesn't mean that they don't like to get home and put their feet up after a day of loving what they do, that's called tired.
For some of us, all we really need to do is stop long enough to organize out thoughts. Like those boxes in the garage you've been meaning to get to. Consider what time you have 'created' for you. You may do things you love, but you may do them with an attitude that robs you of the energy you can receive from the doing. Reading is doing, writing is doing, meditating is doing: but fixing things can be fun and organizing things can be fun and... I hope you get the idea.
Most importantly, 'you time' isn't called you time because of what it means to anybody else. It also doesn't have to be spent alone although it's best not to 'rely' on someone else for it.
Consider what you do for you. Then consider how what you do for you impacts on your ability to relate to everyone else.
Isn't it time for a little you time?
See ya next week
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Assumptions
Thought I'd draw a little story from my own life today and see if anyone else can relate.
I don't consider myself a perfectionist by any means, but apparently I have my moments.
It's remarkable that, as someone who helps other people negotiate problem areas in their lives, I still fall prey to the simplest of issues sometimes. Labels are assumptions. We see traits called perfectionist, bully, selfish, domineering, "add whichever one suits here" and we assume we can rely on that person to 'be that' every time we meet them. In other words, we label them. The fun (or sad) part about that is, if you have a solid enough assumption about someone, they will rise to the occasion every time.
Now one of the things that enables me to see the world the way I do is that, when I see something I particularly like or don't like about someone, I look to myself to see why. What is in me that feels that way? Because I know no one else can make me feel anything, why then, does person 'x' illicit this reaction in me...then, why do I feel this way?
Anyone who knows me would say that unless it comes to singing or vocal harmonies, I don't have a single perfectionist bone in my body, that's just not my label. Well, last week we got back off the road Monday night late and when I got up Tuesday morning it was time to write this blog. I didn't feel like anything I had to say would be of interest to anyone....it just wouldn't be good enough...perfectionist? In that moment...and in fact, subsequent moments, I was.
Moral of the story? No one is always anything. I accepted the fact that I began this morning doing the same thing and I just stayed in that feeling until this blog presented itself. Be your own best teacher. No one could ever know you the way you do. When you see something in someone else, ask what it is in you that relates to that behavior in the way you do. Why is it so great? Why is it not so great?
The answer won't always be the same because thankfully, you won't. But it will always be inspirational.
See ya next week...I promise.
I don't consider myself a perfectionist by any means, but apparently I have my moments.
It's remarkable that, as someone who helps other people negotiate problem areas in their lives, I still fall prey to the simplest of issues sometimes. Labels are assumptions. We see traits called perfectionist, bully, selfish, domineering, "add whichever one suits here" and we assume we can rely on that person to 'be that' every time we meet them. In other words, we label them. The fun (or sad) part about that is, if you have a solid enough assumption about someone, they will rise to the occasion every time.
Now one of the things that enables me to see the world the way I do is that, when I see something I particularly like or don't like about someone, I look to myself to see why. What is in me that feels that way? Because I know no one else can make me feel anything, why then, does person 'x' illicit this reaction in me...then, why do I feel this way?
Anyone who knows me would say that unless it comes to singing or vocal harmonies, I don't have a single perfectionist bone in my body, that's just not my label. Well, last week we got back off the road Monday night late and when I got up Tuesday morning it was time to write this blog. I didn't feel like anything I had to say would be of interest to anyone....it just wouldn't be good enough...perfectionist? In that moment...and in fact, subsequent moments, I was.
Moral of the story? No one is always anything. I accepted the fact that I began this morning doing the same thing and I just stayed in that feeling until this blog presented itself. Be your own best teacher. No one could ever know you the way you do. When you see something in someone else, ask what it is in you that relates to that behavior in the way you do. Why is it so great? Why is it not so great?
The answer won't always be the same because thankfully, you won't. But it will always be inspirational.
See ya next week...I promise.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Stress.
The greatest stress always happens just before the greatest growth. The longer the incubation, the greater the growth. Desire is the sun, the soil, the water.
Think about a seed...lying there on the ground wanting more than anything to be an entire tree. Imagine the patience and the resolve and the amazing amount of energy it takes to become a tree. OK, so I know that your thinking that it doesn't have any of the distractions we have...but actually it probably has all of them otherwise every seed would turn into a tree..but they don't do they?...
But just before that first sprout comes bursting out of that pod
I can't imagine the faith, the pain, and far more importantly...the will.
This is the ride. We call it good and bad (according to it's effect on us-and we can't even agree on that) but it's all just experience. And experience
is what we bring to every new situation...putting us on a perspective perch that's just a little bit higher than the last one..giving us a few more options than we had before the last experience...a few more things that we know, that we appreciate, that we can count on....
Think about a seed...lying there on the ground wanting more than anything to be an entire tree. Imagine the patience and the resolve and the amazing amount of energy it takes to become a tree. OK, so I know that your thinking that it doesn't have any of the distractions we have...but actually it probably has all of them otherwise every seed would turn into a tree..but they don't do they?...
But just before that first sprout comes bursting out of that pod
I can't imagine the faith, the pain, and far more importantly...the will.
This is the ride. We call it good and bad (according to it's effect on us-and we can't even agree on that) but it's all just experience. And experience
is what we bring to every new situation...putting us on a perspective perch that's just a little bit higher than the last one..giving us a few more options than we had before the last experience...a few more things that we know, that we appreciate, that we can count on....
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Book Excerpt #2
Happy Tuesday everyone,
This has been sitting here pasted into this document for upload for several hours while I had a life altering chat with a friend. I like life-altering....I like friends...and man, I can chat! :)
Today's installment of "The New Golden Rule"
Let me know what you think...
"We have inherited a tired, eroded version of love that suggests: If I ‘love’ you and you ‘love’ me, I’ll be who you want me to be and you will be who I want you to be.
We go through life professing love for this and love for that and in truth we have no idea what that really means. I feel warm and fuzzy about it? I want to possess it?
Right about here you may well be thinking that you know love when you feel it. You might not be able to define it exactly, but you certainly know it when you feel it. If that is the case then at least you can concede that we are profoundly governed by what we feel. That may seem obvious but it is a critical conclusion because there is a very clear disconnection between what we ‘feel’ and our ability to define it. Later on we will see why that has become a problem for so many people.
Do you suppose you can love someone and then, when they do something you don’t like you can stop loving them? Why do you know in your heart that love is bigger than that and yet you ‘give it’ and ‘take it away’ as though it were a commodity.
When you allow yourself to ‘feel’ love instead of engaging in the ‘rationale’ which can be ‘boiled down’ to mental pro’s and con’s (I love you because-I don’t love you because), you know that love is more than that and so do I.
Now I’m about to prove to you how you can come to feel your inherent nature. How, if you are truly selfish in the useful sense, you will come to feel love at the core of your being as who and what you really are.
See ya next week!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Book Excerpt
Hey everyone,
Sorry I missed last week...I'm working on
a book which I will publish in the coming months. I decided that for the next while, instead of writing a blog that is separate from the book itself, why not just publish excerpts from it as I go along.
a book which I will publish in the coming months. I decided that for the next while, instead of writing a blog that is separate from the book itself, why not just publish excerpts from it as I go along.
The book is called 'The New Golden Rule'.
Here is an excerpt from the introduction.
Let me know what you think.
See ya next week... (promise)
"Somewhere between twenty-seven and thirty years of age when we can ‘see’ thirty coming, it begins to occur to most people that we aren’t as young as we used to be. We begin to evaluate or re-evaluate our lives and by then we are often so ‘set in our ways’ that real change beyond career or marriage ‘seems’ virtually impossible.
In many societies, we will have at least one child by then which means that we will have also done our part to pass on the distorted understanding of the way life should be.
We have been passing this distorted understanding from one generation to the next since we began to be shaped by society instead of leaving our individual mark on it.
Most of us are such passive participants in our own lives that unless some major catastrophe befalls us, it takes these milestones (30, 40, 50) for us to look up and seriously consider these basic questions:
What have I done in my life up to now?
Why do I behave in the way I behave?
What am I going to do with my life from now on?
And (God forbid) why in the world did I do so little with my time up to now”?
Even after we ask those questions (if in fact we are unhappy with the answers), we often completely lack the necessary skills to effect any real change in our lives.
We get overwhelmed (a condition I’ll explain shortly) and we go back to living by default.
Living by default means a lot of things but here are a few of the major ones.
Staying with someone you don’t love because it’s easier than leaving.
Taking a new job because you were let go from your old one and you have to work somewhere.
Allowing habits you don’t like (smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex, food) to govern your life, because the thought of fixing them seems so hard to do that next week seems like a much better time to start."
OK, this excerpt thing is harder to do than I thought...I don't know where to stop when it's out of context like this... so, I'll just stop there and you can let me know if you want to come back and see what next week has to offer :)
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Happy 2011
I wish you a brilliant year. A year created by you, for you, built with the end in mind. By that I mean,
it's tough to build a house without a blue print... it's much tougher to build a dream without one. At least with a house there are only so many materials you can use, you have to have a particular kind of foundation and such. With a life... the sky is the limit.
If you are the New Year's resolution sort of person, you've probably figured out by now that those things tend to lose steam and dissolve like the whim on which they were made.
Why is that do you suppose?
Because you have to start with the end in mind; what do you walk towards otherwise?
Want to quit smoking? Stop trying to quit smoking and start becoming someone who doesn't smoke.
Know where you are, know where you're going... and keep going there. The longest journey may start with a single step, but it won't be too long a journey if you stop after the single step... you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other... and it's simply too daunting a task to keep doing that if you don't know where you're going.
Decide what you want for 2011. Write it down. NOT on a computer...in a journal in your own handwriting. Write it clearly and concisely... if it isn't that clear... refine it until it is... take an hour a week... but when you have defined your goal(s) for the year... write them down and visit them daily... walk towards them a little each and every single day... little by little, no matter how unattainable they may seem at certain points (that's another blog) every time you look up you will be closer... how could you not?
Success is a collection of habits. You have habits now don't you? If you have habits that you don't like, understand that the very fact that you have them, shows you that you can make new ones... just make ones that get you where you want to go instead of impede your progress. One thing is for certain though... all the success habits in the world won't get you where you're going if you don't know where that is.
Se ya next week
it's tough to build a house without a blue print... it's much tougher to build a dream without one. At least with a house there are only so many materials you can use, you have to have a particular kind of foundation and such. With a life... the sky is the limit.
If you are the New Year's resolution sort of person, you've probably figured out by now that those things tend to lose steam and dissolve like the whim on which they were made.
Why is that do you suppose?
Because you have to start with the end in mind; what do you walk towards otherwise?
Want to quit smoking? Stop trying to quit smoking and start becoming someone who doesn't smoke.
Know where you are, know where you're going... and keep going there. The longest journey may start with a single step, but it won't be too long a journey if you stop after the single step... you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other... and it's simply too daunting a task to keep doing that if you don't know where you're going.
Decide what you want for 2011. Write it down. NOT on a computer...in a journal in your own handwriting. Write it clearly and concisely... if it isn't that clear... refine it until it is... take an hour a week... but when you have defined your goal(s) for the year... write them down and visit them daily... walk towards them a little each and every single day... little by little, no matter how unattainable they may seem at certain points (that's another blog) every time you look up you will be closer... how could you not?
Success is a collection of habits. You have habits now don't you? If you have habits that you don't like, understand that the very fact that you have them, shows you that you can make new ones... just make ones that get you where you want to go instead of impede your progress. One thing is for certain though... all the success habits in the world won't get you where you're going if you don't know where that is.
Se ya next week
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